It's been 10 days since my last blog. Well, to be more accurate it's been 10 days since I last posted. I generally have several stories rolling around in my head and on paper at one time. When I have an idea or thought I write several lines or paragraphs and sort of tuck them away to be revisited at another time. Then for a myriad of reasons, one idea sticks out more than the others on any given morning and I finish the story to post on the blog for you to hopefully enjoy. Well for the past few mornings absolutely nothing went through my head. Absolutely nothing. Not only that, I didn't even pull out the drafts of previous thoughts to sort of inspire me to get motivated to write anything. Nope! I woke up for the last 10 days and decided to do nothing. Well, nothing is sort of an exaggeration. Of course, there are daily things we all have to do to survive so let's just say I stuck to the minimum. I went for a few walks. Went to the grocer more than a few times. I cooked. I did some self-care and watched a whole lot of telly. And you know what? I'm a better person for it.
STICK WITH ME FOR A MOMENT I WILL GET TO THE POINT!
July 1, 2020, was my very first blog. If you have been reading you know writing my blog is something I've wanted to do for a very long time. Until a few years ago I didn't even know what a blog was and was surprised to find out people have been posting blogs for well over 10-12 years. At least that's the timeline of a couple of the bloggers I read regularly. But once I learned how random people were posting their own stories on their own websites I immediately knew it was something I aspired to accomplish. It took a couple of years but thanks to Lockdown 1.0 I finally accomplished the goal.
One of the tips I learned from other bloggers was to post regularly and on a schedule. Well, the schedule thing is something I have to work on as I tend to post whenever the mood hits. For the most part, the mood hits several times a week with maybe a break here and there. The past ten days have been one of those breaks. I actually have three stories in the coffers I was working on but with the results of the election and the death of Sir Sean Connery I pushed those stories aside. Some may ask why I wrote about the death of Connery and/or the election because they don't really tie in with travel, food or the other content. Well, it's my blog and I'll write what I want too. Not to mention regardless of politics the election was a historical moment for women and how could I not write about it. And Sir Sean Connery?? Well, I am and will forever be a Bond girl! But more on that later as I have a draft in the works.
So this morning, the first time in ten days, I woke up with many thoughts rushing into my head on one of the drafts I set to the side. Then those thoughts got pushed to the side and off the cuff, I started writing this story. So I'm going with it. I'm four paragraphs in and I'm sure you are saying "get to the point!" Actually to that point. Someone offered criticism of my blog that the articles are too long. I don't really get offended by other people's opinions. I just decide whether it's something I want to take on board or not. In this case, I decided my longest blog is 8 minutes. So if someone doesn't want to sit to have a cup and read to themselves for about 10 minutes that's not for me to change how I approach my writing. Which gets to exactly what my point is today. Self Satisfaction!
AND HERE IT IS!
For many of us, 2020 has been an outright struggle. We are having to deal with many issues we never even thought we would have to deal with. Lockdowns, masks, staying away from people, keeping our outings down to essential, working from home or either not working at all. For myself, it's been all the above - except working from home unless you count the blog working. When all of this initially kicked off my immediate Virgo reaction was FINE!! Let's clean and organize. Many people spent the first lockdown hibernating and on the sofa. I spent it keeping busy with various projects I assigned to myself to keep busy. Which is fine because we all deal with things in different ways. But honestly, a few weeks ago I hit the wall with Lockdown 2.0 being a bit harder. Part of the reason I think is that we are moving into the winter months and it's darker earlier so we no longer have the sunshine to invigorate and energize us. On top of that, this is normally the time of year where many of us feel like hibernating bears and all we want to do is cozy on the sofa or in bed, eat and watch movies. But nothing we are experiencing now is "normal."
2020 and all its weirdness. I'm so over it! It's weird to go for walks with friends and not hug them and keep apart. It's weird to send virtual hugs and kisses. It's weird to have to wear a mask to go outside. It's weird to force yourself to go outside to fight off those moments you feel like maybe you are developing a bit of agoraphobia. If you are living in 2020 and you don't feel weird then I want the number to your therapist because I need a prescription for what you are taking. Everything about how we are living and what we are experiencing is weird and it can get stressful at times. Sometimes it gets to be too much and we need to take a personal moment to just check out, regroup and seek some satisfaction.
I've had several periods during the past twenty years which I think was practice for these moments. This isn't new to me, unfortunately. I've made it through several furloughs and a few injuries with a lot of time on my hands and no set routine. But during these times I learned a lot which is helping me during the weirdest time of many of our lives. I learned no matter how bad it seems it really isn't. I learned this time will pass. I also learned to count the blessings and not the tragedies. I think the most important thing I learned is to make sure you are taking care of yourself and finding a way to feel some sense of satisfaction. There will be days you want to scream, cry and hide under the comforter. When you have those days embrace those feelings and do it. Because the one thing I did learn is none of it is weird. The times are weird but our feelings are not.
So after Lockdown 2.0 began and the reality of it getting dark at 4 freakin 30 in the afternoon - YES!!!! 4:30 is still considered afternoon - I decided it's not weird to want to crawl into bed at 4:30 and sleep and or watch telly. I decided it's not weird to play my music, dance around while I cook. I decided it's not weird to stay on the phone hours on end talking to my girls. I decided not only is it not weird but it is NECESSARY!!!! It's necessary sometimes to indulge yourself with a little self-pity because your feelings and your emotions should not be ignored. But the trick is to not drown and keep afloat.
Now on day ten, after my very own little pity party, I woke up feeling a sense of being revitalized. The weirdness of the times hasn't gone away but the feeling to continue dealing with everything doesn't feel as daunting. That's the surprising thing about the human spirit is that no matter how down we feel or how complicated things appear we can always find a way out. The thing is we have to look for it to find our way. Find a plan of escape or a map of how to maneuver down the various roads that lie ahead. Even if that requires a few days under the duvet. Because there will be a day when this is all behind us and we will once again get back to the things we really enjoy and many many hugs!
Take Care
Tracy